To hold your breath is to let go of it

I take my words back about being reluctant to return to work at the kids club, because it is cunningly addictive. The kids, the colleagues, the cute guys (haha)... A part of me will always come back for more.

By now, everyone's more or less looking forward to greener grasses, but here I am, still staring at a bleak plain. They see their future so crystal clear in front of them. They always do. I never do. It's always a bokeh to me. I don't know. Perhaps I'm hesitant to admit what I want, or perhaps I'm just impatiently waiting for a reason... a reason for me to stay.