Massive

Everyone's out there having their weekend brunch/ tea while here I am fretting over the next few weeks of hell. We're barely into our third week of school yet all I can jot down on my schedule are deadlines, deadlines and more deadlines. First and second week of school are meant for catch-up dates with the long-lost ones, or so I thought. But no, I don't even have time for my own (fyi I need a lot of alone time). As if that doesn't suck already, my army boys are booking in next week and the June dive trips aren't too far away and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I need to shut up and quell this anxiety of mine.

Scream and shout, and let it all out

To summarize my past week:

German cuisine for lunch at Brotzeit with the fam and gramps over last weekend. It's so adorable how curious and adventurous my popo is. She tries everything on the table, from the pork knuckle to the decorative pickles. On the other hand, my gong gong shuns away from everything and rejects all the food we put on his plate. He even secretly slide the pizza back to the serving plate in hope we won't notice HAHAH. But anyway we went grocery shopping after and I have finally fulfilled my long-life dream of taking my fish-eye in a fish-eye picture. #fisheyeception

School > FIFA at Stella's place with the JK kids > Sushi buffet with the boobies.

Widia has been dearly missed.

Day trip to JB with these two to do our hair (mine failed terribly btw) and to eat till we drop. Swear JB shall be our new hangout place. Cheers to no-school Thursdays ;)

TGIF

Winfred's 19th birthday at De La Creme (the mango cake will give you a mouthgasm btw). Although I've hated him to the core for throwing my phone into the pool before, I must admit that all the primary school shit we've been through was pretty damn awesome. Really thankful for an amazing, albeit talkative friend like him. Also, Wingyee's leaving for Melbourne for further studies soon and that kinda sucks :(  

Well that's all folks. Have a good weekend. xx

For the one who asked

102

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?
Yes.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
No. It has to be someone of the same age / older. Age is not just a number to me.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
When Josh and Joel tried to prank me that they weren't gonna join us for dinner. I felt annoyed that they could still joke around with me when I was already in such a foul mood, yet I felt smug about the fact that I could always see through their pranks.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
I always do. It's emotionally healthy.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
Am not dating.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
A Vicious Kind by Yellowcard.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Camp shirt and TK shorts lol.

8. How often do you listen to music?
Every hour. Not any less.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
Sweats! My favvvvv.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?
I don't think so. It's been stagnant for quite a while now.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
Social by nature, anti-social by choice.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
Yes. The first and only person I've kissed.

13. What about ‘R’?
Nope.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?
Whadat you say?

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
To some extent, yeah.

16. Are you going out of town soon?
JB with my bee Trisha soon!

17. When was the last time you cried?
.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
Yes.

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
I want Hazel eyes! Then I can sing the Kelly Clarkson song HAHAHAHA.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
There is one. Other than treating him to food/drinks or doing stupid things, I try not to say no to him. We don't meet or talk often, but he probably knows me the best among the rest. Thanks for being one of my longest friend pb :)

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
That the weather is immensely humid.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
Yes!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
No.

24. What are you sitting on right now?
My ass.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?
My family members don't even tell me that they love me, it's just awkward.
But the more regular ones would be Fel and Stella :*

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
Yes.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
JJ. About me not getting a boyfriend LOL.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?
No not really. I rarely fall sick but I'm currently down with a phlegmy throat, urgh.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
BA Communications camp, but I didn't attend the camp. It was a gift.

30. Does anyone hate you?
Yes. And the hate runs strong.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
No but I used to have alcohol bottle caps lying around my desk.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?
Words can't even express my love for horror films. But sadly very few are willing to watch 'em with me.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
I actually do. But my mom will kungfu kick my ass out of the house.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
2012.

35. Did you have a dream last night?
Don't think so. Fell into deep sleep because I was too exhausted.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
I tell my friends that I love them all the time! But relationship-wise, years ago...

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
Well I'm 19 now so 5 years later would mean 24 and I would love to but I don't know if I will.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
Not that anyone has showed it.

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Probably not.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
Yes. Dinner with my 2D boys was good :)

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
No.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
Hopefully meeting Joelle, Arynah and Zul for dinner if I can!

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
Yes. But lol seriously which boyfriend wouldn't? It's only a matter of when he decides that it's ok to lose you afterall.

44. What’s the best part about school?
Friends. Best and only worthy part of going to school.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
So many.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
Used to in TK. I miss TK.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Always.

48. Were you single over the last summer?
Yes lah yes lah.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
NO. I was much care-free, much friendlier, much happier.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Sleeping. But I have Sleepwalking by Bring Me The Horizon on replay so that's hindering me from going to bed.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
That would be JJ and he may be annoying sometimes and all the time but no.

52. Are you nice to everyone?
Generally yes. I try to live by "I don't care where you come from, as long as you come to me".

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
Yes..... Sometimes I don't know what my heart is doing.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
I will never cheat. Because it doesn't feel good being cheated on.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
I don't know. Am I?

56. Do you think you like someone?
No.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
No. What is with these questions...

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
I have more male friends than female ones. And I like it that way.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
Yes.

60. Do you hate anyone?
Probably used to. But my form of hate usually turns into a sense of longing for that someone after a while. That's kinda fucked up but yup.

61. How’s your heart?
Brusied and scarred, but still beating.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
Yes.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
Yes.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
I would know who.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?
LOL gay. No.

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
No.

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
Not for the wrong reasons. It's not nice seeing anyone cry in general anyway. I would want my boyfriend to be happy. But if he needs to cry, he can have my shoulder for as long as he wants to.

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
LOL no.

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
I can't even remember............ I am phone-shy so I don't talk to anybody on the phone unless we're really close or if you have something important yet lengthy to tell me about. But the last one would probably be Lummy? His (love) life was at stake ;)

70. How do you look right now?
My brows are probably creased with concentration on answering these questions.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
Somehow Ericia appeared first in my mind.

72. Can you commit to one person?
I can.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Yes. But he's not here anymore.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?
Many a times.

75. Did you wake up cranky?
No. I slept in and sleeping in means a happy me.

76. Are you a jealous person?
Sometimes.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?
They are, if the other person is.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
Given up.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Clean the tornado of a mess in my room.

81. Last person you cried in front of?
In Shanghai, in front of many people.

82. Is there someone you will never forget?
Yes.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
No feelings for anyone as of current.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
Not that I wish to be with anyone right now.... but he and I would probably be texting on the bed and saying our goodnights.

85. Are you over your past?
No. I don't think I'd ever be completely over any of my past.

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
Close friends.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
Refer to q73.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
I would welcome the presents.

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door?
Aiya he won't la.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
Lol always...

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
Don't think so. I just really want to concentrate for my last year.

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
Yes. Three.

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
NO.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
No.

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
Nobody.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
The last person was Joel and yes he is attractive in my eyes because his muscle very big ;) HAHAHAHAH.

97. Who do you have texts from?
Friends / family.

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
Go ahead of course. Love can't be forced, can it? Unless the girl he likes is being an asshole or abusing his love.

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yes.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
Myself on the boat at Tioman ^^

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
No leh but sounds fun.

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
Yes. Literally also got.

A vicious kind

Just thought that I could let loose and escape for the night

All I sought for was salvation, but

There was only frustration, of this dirty little thing called coincidence

Then temptation, of running far, far away 

And the worst of all, damnation

A silent thought of curiosity, "how are you? where are you and what are you doing now?"

Then there you appeared out of literally nowhere

I thought my eyes were playing a trick on me but they weren't

Then

Time stood still the way it did before
It's like I'm sleepwalking
Fell into another hole again
It's like I'm sleepwalking

I try to suck it up but I just keep fuckin' up

Accidental expedition with the fam

i. Jux Keydingz 

ii. Potluck party with spagz and potato salad 

iii. Home-made dinner with Hajar the pancake mix scooper, Bert and I the competing pancake flippers, Felicia the sausage boiler and Taiming and Stella the potato baker

Long-awaited swimming date with Xx and foodgasmic teppanyaki for dinner

Retail therapy a.k.a. alone time a.k.a. prepping reinforcements for the incoming semester

Barely even mid-week yet and everything has been falling into place. Told you it'd be excel-fucking-lent.

Ask me maybe?

P.s. new Ask.fm account over on the right <<< because Formspring died.
Ask me maybe?

累

More often than not - whether stationary or on the move - I find myself fading into a pensive adagio; like the tune of a Mayday song, or at times, pieces of melodies composed and carelessly put together. And the minums and crotchets are screaming, "you're tired, now let it go."