Lived a lie

New hairdo before ushering in the new year! Some say I've stepped out of my xiao mei mei image, some say I look like a poodle; Whatever the case, I'm embracing it just fine because one: straight hair is boring and I hate boring, two: I can now tie a decent bun without it looking like a deflated balloon.

We are approximately twenty-two hours away from 2014 but so far no concrete plans have been made for the countdown and I'm torn between being spontaneous for last-minute call-ups or just keeping myself warm and cozy at home with a hot cuppa and a good film (the lazy in me is leaning towards the latter).

That aside, reading through my archives made me realise how brief and stale 2013 has been, other than the fact that I've met quite a handful of inspiring individuals and distinguished the keepers, learnt knee-scarring lessons and re-entered the part-time workforce lol. All I have to say to bid the year goodbye would be: Good riddance. x

Also, here's a Green Day classic just because I chanced upon it:

Will you still love me then?

It is easy to love me when you watch me sink into a world of arts and craft. It is easy because I am focused and patient, and I'm meticulous down to even the littlest details - the symmetrically trimmed edges, the evenly spread glue, and the parallelly-aligned curves in cursive fonts. It won't be easy, however, when you notice me wiping my sweaty palms on my shirt every ten minutes to make sure the scissors doesn't slip through my hands or I don't leave wet fingerprints on the craft materials. And it doesn't get any easier when you find out I'm phobic of handshakes. I vividly recall slide 9, lecture 3 of the biz comm etiquette notes: 'Wet-rag' handshakes are a no-no. I will never muster up enough confidence to hold someone's hands for more than a second, unless I absolutely have to. Will you still love me then?

It is easy to love me when I have just came out from the shower. My skin is oddly absorbable and I usually retain the pleasant smell of soap and shampoo for a few hours or so. It won't be easy though, if you know how OCD I can be when it comes to keeping myself clean. I throw a fit when I reach home and find out someone's using the bathroom (mostly my sister) because I need to bathe immediately. I cannot eat, sleep or sit down when I'm not thoroughly rinsed. Will you still love me then?

It is easy to love me when you receive a handwritten card from me, whether for festive purposes or not. I pour my heartfelt thoughts and lots of graphical effort into it, and you will know that when I say I cherish you, I do. But it won't be easy on days I think excessively on how you have not contacted me in so long because of something wrong I did, and you will find me ridiculously emotional. I will assume you can live without me and therefore, I will try to live without you too. Will you forgive my sensitivity and assure me you'll stay by my side? Will you still love me then?

It is easy to love me when I let you fall into my arms when you've had your heart broken or when you're having one of those days. It is easy because you will find your name at the top of my to-do list and I will go that extra mile to make you simper, if not at the least stop frowning. But it is never easy when the roles are switched and I'm the one who needs consoling instead. Because I become seemingly needy, yet repulsive and non-responsive concurrently. I cannot decide if I want you to stay or leave, but we both know I eventually want the former. When I am this broken and flummoxed,

Will you still love me then?

From the bed

Friends/work by day, projects and assignments by night - It drains me out to a 0% everyday yet I still choose to do it. At times my body begs me to go to bed before dusk but on the bright side I like how I don't take hours to fall asleep anymore. People are motivated by aspirations and goals but for me, fatigue and limited time does the job. Does that even make sense? This is me biting more than I can chew since 1994...

#52 x'mas party

This is my new-found family. They are #52.

Yesterday, we had our very own Christmas party after much planning through the few class lunches that brought us closer together over the past few weeks. Presents, food (lots and lots of it), cute decor and singing was involved. I can't get over how good Jacinta's shepard's pie and salted caramel cupcakes were. Also, my secret santa Daphne packed me a mouse and some make-up into a paper bag with a golden bow on top. How sweet is that?! I finally have a new mouse guys. 

I'm in love with this bunch of kids I call "friends", and not just "classmates". Here's to more to come :-)

New

I need newness. A new haircut. A new mouse. A new moleskine. New pens. New inspirations to work on. New concepts. New closet style. New friends to care for. New strangers to talk to. New books. New words. New songs. New bands. New guitar picks. New chords. New idiot-proof food recipes. New stock-ups for the fridge. New ways of stress relief. Again, a new haircut, because I've been pulling my hair out.

& most of all, a new routine.

Recap: November

Know how they always have recaps at the end of the show? Well here's one of (almost) the entire month:

Lunchbox Wednesdays with the gang in an effort to save money + eat clean (it only lasted two weeks lol) 

Mom's birthday a week ago, ft. 12" mango swiss roll 

Morning musings a.k.a. Doing things I love than things I should be doing

Sundate with @ohdearnicole, ft. the puny portion of lasagna from The Providore. 

Also, we watched Ender's Game (because it was the only other show available) but there were no regrets.

On Monday, it was just me and Tia the entire day. We played pretend and we had "apples" and "water" for dinner thrice that evening. We also had a pet dragon named Draggy and we cleaned up its poo. I've been juggling work and school in case anyone's wondering, merely because I love my job.

Right now, these moments with family and friends (and the kids at the centre) are so rare. In other words, school has taken over my life and TGIF.

From the bed

21 Nov - It's been fourteen months.

You're not with me anymore, but still, you are near wherever I go. Sometimes you're at the corridor of the classroom, sometimes you're just an arm's length away where I'll watch you subtly jamming to the music and doing your thing. Sometimes you don't notice me, sometimes you do and walk the other way. I know.

Today reminded me of yesteryear, when we would step into school in similar outfits, except we used to argue over who copied who. Now, there's no big deal in that anymore. I can't decide if waking up (in the bus) to seeing you was a pleasant surprise or an awkward shock of my life. I can't decide if pretending not to realise and walking away was exactly the right move.

I can't decide.

North/north

I think the word that best describes this phase of my life right now would be: Repulsive

Repulsive to school (this applies to every part of my life but still), repulsive to friends, repulsive to going out, repulsive to food, repulsive to... boys, and basically, repulsive to everything I like / should like.

Maybe it's the flu.

Trick-or-treat

I'm immensely grateful for Randell who invited us for trick-or-treat this Halloween. Finally I don't have to sulk at home and wallow in self-pity while all the other kids get to dress up and bask in the atmosphere. T'was a pity that most houses were out of sweets by the time we got there (we only collected 5 candies each) :-(

Jigsaw (my fav character of all I'm a huuuuge fan of Saw)

Polaroid films courtesy of Randell

Left: Me as cavegirl, Nicole as Wednesday Addams, Naomi as Alice in Wonderland

Middle: With my screamhead quad (Xinying, Fido and two other friends)

Right: With Randell as Finn and Jingting as Jack 

Posing with a random pope that we bumped into on the street

Falderal

Update:
In the past two weeks of absence I have been out till midnight every. single. day. Before school forbids me to have a life when the workload comes streaming in, at least I can say I've caught up with everyone.

It's the second week of the new semester of school. Things have been routine; usual habits of lateness, manually printing double-sided lecture notes, daily dilemma of what to have for lunch, listening to tutors ask questions and then self-answering them, paying unnecessary attention to all the redundant details of lecture and daydreaming at the most important parts, etc.

If you do the math, we're a quarter-year away from graduation (and temporary freedom). I need a new organiser for the upcoming year, but I can't find the exact design that I've been using for this year. I have brand loyalty issues. Also it's about time to think about my after-diploma plans, which I'm extremely indecisive about.

Thoughts:
i) Being part of an all-boy gang doesn't make feel like a rose among the thorns (yes you boys are thorns hurhur). It may seem as though I should feel left out, but no, they make me feel like we all belong to the same rose field anyway. This is why males are so comfortable to hang out with. Girls are different; they are mostly whiny and bitchy pains-in-the-ass when it comes to fostering relationships with people or basically just being human. I've never enjoyed girl company as much. But this year, I've met a handful of girlfriends who have taught me that girl company can be precious as well. So thank you for opening my mind and making me feel comfortable to let you in. You know who you are. :*

ii) I'm so mean inside my head that I'm ashamed of my own thoughts. But then again, I don't get how one can overlook someone's flaws when she's so oblivious about them. I would tell her where she went wrong because I care, but she wouldn't necessarily listen. Aren't friends supposed to rub off each other's virtues and become better people as a whole? Why isn't this working out then? It's so strenuous to be irritated over every little thing, even the most trivial matter. I used to have a phlegmatic temperament but all this frustration is turning me into a melancholic beast. I'm filled to the brim with anger, almost all the time. I can't put things down as easily as I used to be able to anymore, like there's superglue smudged all over my hands and in between my fingers or something. Do you get what I mean in point i) now?

iii) Here's my sincerest apologies if I've blown my top at you in the past few months. I'm completely aware of my deteriorating patience and tolerance, I just haven't found a solution for it yet. But give me time and I promise I'll be back to the nice ol' Sarah you used to know.

Hong Kong

It's been half a week since I've returned from the pearl of the orient. Four days in Hong Kong could just have been too insufficient for my endless cravings for good ol' dim sum and cheap retail therapy. I am entirely mesmerized by the city's streets - so abstractly disorganised and so seemingly ctrl c+ctrl v.

Sham Shui Po

Bank of China Tower / Victoria Peak

Tim Ho Wan / Flower Market Road

I'll give you the words, just sing for me

I may not always show it but you guys pretty much mean the world to me :-)

Thank you for making the first few hours of my birthday really happy ones.

Toots club

So a few weeks back my friend referred me to a job at the childcare centre under Shangri-La Rasa Resort and I decided to give it a try. Trust me, it's really, really inconvenient for me, but really, really worth it. Y'know the feeling when you've worked at somewhere for so long that you kinda just become attached to it and you don't actually rush to get out of there to go home at the end of the day? (p.s. It's only my fifth day at the centre today).

Ericia's 19th birthday picnic party!

So Ericia had this absolutely sane idea to have a picnic in a 32°-kind of weather, but Xx and I couldn't decline because we were gonna celebrate her birthday in advance after all. Since morning I had been spazzing about how excited I was for the picnic because I haven't had one in ages (I even made props and brought utensils for photography purposes) but the birthday girl wasn't feeling the same way; She was more excited about the newly released iPhone 5S... 

 

  

 

Other than the weather, I very much enjoyed our mini photoshoot and the long-awaited catching up meant for months and months ago :-*

49 Seats

After which we dropped by 49 Seats for dinner as planned. 49 seats really has 49 seats btw. #funfact

Fried Chicken Wings

Tom Yam Pasta

I didn't have the Tom Yam Pasta (obviously, because of my terrible tolerance for spicy food), so I'm not quite sure if it has lived up to its standard. It's supposed to be the restaurant's signature dish, but Ericia wasn't too happy about it. She prefers the one at PastaMania.

Blackcurrant Fizz / Pan Fried Fish with Al Scampi

The Blackcurrant Fizz was a house special and it isn't on the menu. Fizz is just fizz I mean how good could a fizz get, but this fizz was..... g o o d. The owner of the restaurant taught us how to mix the drink in the quickest way which was to blow bubbles in it and it was the coolest shit I've seen because it was like an ombré effect in action.

What I really liked about the Al Scampi sauce was the generous portion of seafood. Despite Xx and I sharing this, we still had 2 prawns/mussels each. I could drink the sauce as soup, mmmmm.

49 Seats
49 Kreta Ayer Road
Singapore 089007
+65 62254332