Faith, Trust, Hope.

"Once, all the villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer, everyone gathered and only one boy came with an umbrella. That's Faith.

 When you throw a one-year-old in the air, he laughs because he knows that you would catch him. That's Trust.

 Every night, we go to bed with no assurance that we'd wake up alive the next morning, but we still make plans for tomorrow. That's Hope."

Oh, broken pieces.

Swimming at Raffles Town Club last Tuesday. Hmm, contemplating to sign up for the 3-month membership. I'd love to pick up swimming again.



School life -- Kaleidoscopic breakfasts to start my mornings, mini revision list, sky views from The Attic, and my daily dose of entertainment (I don't think they realised I snapped this shot of them).

Can't bear to part with these two next semester. My level of motivation to actually even go to school might hit rock bottom.

New entry to my "Moleskine" -- A casual sketch inspired by a photo I took a few days back. In need of some watercolour to make it complete.

& On an absolutely irrelevant note, my cactuses are still alive.
Yes. They. Are. Still. Alive.

I'm so hooked on to Instagram.

Soon, I'll give up trying.

I've tried. I've always been trying.
But what 'bout you?

Don't belittle this thing called Initiative.
As easily as it can forge a friendship, it can break one.

You wanted yourself to be loved, and you feel like you were a mistake.

"How are you?"

Are you kidding me? You're asking me how I am? If it wouldn't have been obvious, I'd have sneered in disbelief. I can't believe you're asking me how I am. You saw me, and you waved. You waved. You didn't intend to walk over, until I gestured for you to come over. I'd rather you tap me on the head, do a bro fist bump, or just... feel comfortable talking to me. "How are you"s are saved for the awkward acquaintances, not for the supposedly close friends, not for us. How long have we known each other for? I always thought that the bond we shared was worth a little more than this. Remember how I said I'd hold on to this friendship like it was a life buoy? I'd still love to. 

For the lg.

Dear Ricky,

Happy 19th birthday! ^_^ I'm figuring you'd be partying in the USA right now, literally. Heh, never really talked to you in rl before (other than in primary 6 when we were in the same tuition class which isn't exactly counted either) and our only forms of communication were Msn and Twitter, much less taken a picture together before. So... I edited our individual photos into one to represent our friendship. It's amazing how we still talk to each other once or twice in a while despite such distance between us. The next time I'd see you would probably be 10 years later when you return to Sg or when I actually earn big bucks to buy a ticket to the States. That's such a long way to go :( Come back sooner ok!

♥, your lp.

Caught Up

'Jumbled up' could just be the appropriate term to describe my past week.

DSS hasn't been close to being cooperative lately. Our Excel worksheet seems almost as plain as a flavourless, topless spongecake, or at least too plain for our tutor's liking. All those tedious tutorials just adds on to the burden. Each time I flip the pages of that fatass of a textbook to start a new exercise, my eyelids fight to defy gravity. Here starts the downfall of my passion for DSS.

DSS hasn't been the only culprit, though. School, as a whole, played a part. Barely slept a wink every single day for the past week due to the infinite tutorials and projects to deal with. But somehow, the heavier the workload thrown at me, the more effectively I balance my priorities. Am working towards to becoming a Xinxian, heh :-)

A lot has happened in the time that I've been not updating. Despite the pressure of school driving the sanity out of me, I restate my stand that 2012's still all smiles and laughter. Can't quite recall every detail, but here's what my mind vaguely retained:

Sacrificed OB lecture for a trip to MJC to visit ma homie s last Wed. Aryn and Fel met me before we entered the school together and koped free milo from the milo van like it was a free-flow buffet. Toured the school, said "hi" to whoever we needed to say "hi" to, and bumped into many familiar faces like Amsyar, Yingzheng, Wenhui, Khaiqi, Benedict, Yu Xian, Zhi Xian, Ivan and so on. Arranged for dinner with part of Jux Keydings after their mass dance event. We haven't had a full gathering for ages :-(

Last Fri was Germs' birthday. We kinda forgot and only found out only on Saturday when we met for dinner, so we grabbed a slice of cake from Four Leaves for an impromptu celebration. Babbled between the both of us till 3am at Mac's and the boys grew pretty annoyed that they were left out in a our private talk. Happy belated birthday, Germs! x

Double birthday celebration for ah yi and ji bo / reunion dinner at my ah yi's place last Sun.

Doodling in class during Macroecons tutorial on Wed. Xinxian and I kept ourselves entertained to pull us through the boredom by drawing mocking portraits of Ericia. (Aww Ericia, y'know we still love you :9)

Town with my AdInfinitum girls on Thurs fer some shoppingggggg ~ Raided Editor's Market and went berserk at H&M near its closing hour. Piled our belongings up in front of the mirror while frantically grabbing everything and anything off the shelves and racks to try 'em on on the spot itself 'cause the queue for the fitting room was unbelievable.

Last but not least, gong gong and po po just left after a mini reunion steamboat dinner at our place. Mmm kinda makes me miss eating at Tian Fu with the boys, even though I always get bullied and deprived of food :-(

Well, well, that's about it.
It's Chinese New Year tomorrow! $$$

AdInfinitum's Sunshine / Darren's 18th

Today marked a big, big day for AdInfinitum's new Sunshine boy, Darren!

Ordered his birthday cake at P.Osh while we snacked on Takoyaki, Best Fries Forever and bubbletea, before reuniting with the boys at C.H.I.J.M.E.S. for some chicken wings at Cuscaden and drinks at Harry's.

Love my girls. ♥

Love the sun design! Brownie cakes can never go wrong, mm mmm ~ 

Even the kitty cat wanted to join in the celebration ~ (=^.^=)

Dope-shit drink names (e.g. Blow Job, Slippery Nipple, Liquor XTC, Brain Haemorrhage - which I suffer from due to excessive demoralisation from all the bullying of Auggie and Ivan every single day)

And that's my Moonwalk on the right.

Bottoms up ~

Forced Darren to confess anything about each of us that he was grateful for and in return, we had to speak up about what we appreciated about him as well. Darren's a friend worth to keep, that I'm sure. 

Happy 18th birthday, Sunshine! AdInfinitum loves you :)

I quote Darren, "Feel so blessed to have such awesome friends."

Don't let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.

Life's been pretty merciful to me. You could either catch me smiling, laughing or at the very worst, expressionless when I'm beyond lethargic in the morning.

This was yesterday:
Collected my new iPhone 4S > Lunch at Ichiban with the Dad and Vanessa > Snuggled at home > Awful dinner at Pasta Mania with Lummy and Sha > KOI for dessert at Mac's LOL

And Sha bought an entire pack of plasters for me just because there was a cut on the hind of my feet :')

Today:

Knocked into Ryan on the bus after school. Haven't seen him for such a long, long, long time and we caught up a little.

Dated Joanne for some shaved ice for dessert at 32 Degrees Fahrenheit after dinner. I don't know how insanity took over her, but it did. Before I knew it......

"HELLO!! Can we try to make our own shaved ice?"

She had no intention of taking her words back, so the supervisor couldn't bear to say "no". And there started our shaved ice-making experience.

We were given instructions on how to operate the machine and how much each portion was supposed to weigh, etc. Sat down and engaged in an hour's worth of conversation with the supervisor, reviewing improvements to his recipes and how this business could thrive further. Such a potential business, yet so underrated.

My night was lovely.

I'm beyond over-joyed, like over-over-joyed. 

Alone.

Don't get me wrong. Liking to be alone =/= liking to feel lonely.

Given an option to take a draggy bus ride home with just me and my Zen mosiac or to be accompanied by people to kill the time, I'd favour the former. For one, I like the tranqulity of having time for my own. For two, my life is boring person so there's really not much to talk about. For three, I've hardly been given the right to speak up so that pretty much cultivated my fear of speaking too much. As I age, this animosity of interacting with people amplifies. And each time somebody new comes by, I shun and evade. As though pins were stuck into my skin all over, it stings a little more each time the distance in between us shrinks.

Mmm, life is a complicated thing. (Act yi ge philosopher LOL)

I like it like that.

Already contemplating to skip the first lecture of the year...

... but nope, I'mma be a good, good girl.

A -;- New Year.

Arranged to meet my girls to spend the new year with the moment I touched down in Sg. Dinner at Suntec before we supposedly headed to this random Asian Civilisations Museum place to immerse in Indian grooves and watch the fireworks but thankfully we found the boys by chance and changed plans to party at the Singapore Flyer instead. Seriously, Indian grooves, seriously? -__-

Song dedication to Zul. 

"Wish you were here XOXO" 

:')

Yu Hang's gay and meaningless shirt. 

It says "Sexy and Chic" and "Moments Carelessness Caused Thelr".

Seriously?! -__-

Proof that Joelle tiptoes whenever she takes a photo with taller people. Mmhmm.

Boss :)

The DJ was so shitty but the alcohol helped to cure the lack of atmosphere 'cause we couldn't stop ourselves from bopping around to the music even though the music was kinda shitty at some points of time. The boys, albeit shy as hell, joined in thereafter. The way Yu Hang dances cracks me up.

I met Stella and Bert for lunch at T1 Aston's before that as well. Bert made us worried sick that I resorted to contacting his friends for help. His phone died and he didn't know where to find us so he roamed around the entire T3 and T2 but not T1, just to coincidentally bump into us if he was lucky. It took this smartass an hour to figure out to contact us through Twitter at the free internet usage at Mac's. He even bought a mini portable charger from Minitoons. I must say that's really clever of him but he could've just borrowed someone else's phone. Oh, Bert.

So grateful for this day spent with my favourite people. They say what matters most is the company and hell yeah, the company was awesome.

I wouldn't even say time flies. It freakin' soared by. 2011 started out forlorn and grey, but you never discover new things if you don't let go of the old ones (that doesn't apply to my friends). So, I let go. I let go. I hope you're proud of me, 'cause I'm proud of myself. Point-blank, it was an almost never-ending marathon and all that running had drained me to a point where I've turned into another being. For the better or for the worse, you judge. But I'm less sad this way. Not happier, just less sad.

One thing definitely worth the mention would be #TB28, AdInfinitum. Let's just say, I've found a new family to love and to be loved by. Given the chance to, I'd restart the year and go through shit subjects like ITB all over again just to relive those few days of Bintan, tonning sessions and heart-to-heart talks. This year's gonna be a tad different, with the girls and boys going separate ways, but separate ways or not, we'd eventually meet at the end of the same tunnel. You guys are what I go to school for. Brothers and sisters for always.

And last but not least, my bbygs. It's been 5 years now and we're still going strong. Can't imagine what life would be if they didn't exist. They've been my pillars of strength 24/7/365 and I don't think I could find any other pillars that I'd love to lean on. Next year, two years down, five years down or even ten years down and so on, we'd still be hanging out on Saturdays, maybe not to drop by flea markets, but perhaps to settle down for some high-tea, engage in ladies talk and whatnot. That's what I call friends for life.

Mmm, and now, a little note-to-self.

Resolutions:
- Stop screwing things up
- Grow a brain (Yanzhou said that right)
- Independence
- Cut down on my profanities, it's honestly getting out of hand T-T
- Less -vity, more +vity
- All out for a GPA that's high enough to make my mama proud
- Learn to say "no"
- To live by ''You just need 20 seconds of courage, and everything else will go on smoothly.''
- And "If you want me in your life, put me there. I shouldn't have to fight for a spot."

Things to do:
- Train myself to down a McSpicy burger without drinking anything in between LOL
- Try out bak kut teh (I'm serious I've never tried it before)
- Apply for my advanced scuba-diving license
- Windsurf / Wakeboard
- Master my ukulele (and perhaps buy myself a new proper one, heh)
- Learn how to cook (I already know how to fry an egg!)

This year's gonna be rough. With A's happening for the JC kids and BAOW plus another year worth of deadlines to meet for me, it ain't gon' be easy to keep everyone by my side. When my grip loosens, please remind me to never let go, because deep down inside, I'd never want to.

Ushering in the new year with a big, big smile :)