Apple Shampoo

I love how I can be so goofy and laugh my head off over the most trivial matters with these two girls at the back of the classroom, in total disregard of the lesson. #thatswhatigotoschoolfor

Three and a half hours worth of CSE lesson today. Jeraldyn and I went bonkers and started squealing randomly in the midst of the lesson. That was a whole new level of boredom. Not cool.

Results so far aren't pleasing at all. My Monday was entirely ruined since the end of lessons after getting back our ITB papers. ITB was the subject I slogged my guts out most for while the others couldn't give two fucks about it yet I'm one of the only four in class to flunk it. Da fuq? I will never sacrifice my sleep and mug overnight for it again (although I do admit mugging overnight with Zhuks and Keith at ECP Mac's was a night to remember). Felt so touched when #TB28 comforted me and Auggie even offered to lend me his imba notes to assure me a pass for the retest :')

No balls to tell mom about my grade yet. Hopefully I'll collect more positive grades for the next few days to cover up for my first failed module. My aunt just mass smsed the entire family tree to boast about her dearest prize possession making it to the scholars list. I want to be my mom's trophy as well. I want her to have something to be proud of. Sigh, I don't want to be my parent's regret.

Mom, I love you. Just felt like sayin'.

Scuba-Diving / Dayang Jun'11 (OW)

3 days in Pulau Dayang.

Pool Session:

Day 1:

Glenda & Terry

Nigel, Joel & Russel

Day 2:

Breakfast

Darren T. chillin' in the sand

Marx so shingzx

Joanne; Mad woman ♥

Xuanhao & Abel

My super sian face HAHAHA

Camp fire WOOHOO~

Day 3:

Last dive for the trip :(

Nemo

Corals

Hwee Kee

Dion and her X C

NPDC :)

Can't w8 to dive again!!!!!!!

Tribal Beats

At 9.30am, my eyes jerked open with such enthusiasm 'cause I recalled Stella warning me the previous night not to be late. On a normal basis, I'd skillfully tap my alarm clock off and slip back into dreamland. Me waking up on time was a sign for a bound-to-be good day, until I jumped off my bed and found myself aching from head to toes. Urgh, such a turn off.

Been attending pool sessions at Outram Sec the past two evenings and considering that I've not touched the pool for years, swimming six laps at a go without warm-ups killed me instantly. My legs wobbled till I could barely walk straight, but the diving part was dope. The equipment's really heavy though.. Boohoo, wish I was stronger and fitter :(

Ok, back to today. So, we had Pizzaslut for lunch, nom nom nomz. Chicken Royale + Spicy Drumlets + Minestrone Soup = Best damn thing ever (ignoring the price). Headed on to her house for Factory Day and we accomplished much. =^^=

This feathery thing on my head is Stella's masterpiece. So pweedy, right?

I love her so much that sometimes I doubt if I'm straight.

.. just kidding.

Bricking Up

And I'm so used to being a coward, it's all I've ever been. I quit before I win.

This week's been melodramatic; silent afternoons spent slouching on the coach wondering why the world spins round and why Jack and Sally were meant to be, the trauma of being untraumatized and the fear of being fearless, hiding underneath the blanket make-believing it'll be as brick-hard as steel armour, being allergic to the world, solo trips to the library to kope aircon I mean grab a couple of books for enlightenment, and stuff.

Can I go back to June 2010 and be that weakling just for tonight? It's so exhausting being... this June 2011 me. This snowball of self-abhorrence started out palm-sized, but these days, it's been rolling down this endless white-coated field at its highest peak of speed; it keeps growing and growing and growing uncontrollably. How deep-seated can it get?

'Cause I bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.
I was hoping you'd stay, but my hopes were clearly set too high.

This reluctance is killing me, but I'm loosening my grip, bit by bit.

Thank you, K & B, for saving my ass; literally. I owe you both three lifetimes.

Side-tracking, the results for my free spine check proved negative. Apparently, I have extremely severe neck tensions, especially on the left, but I feel no shit. You should've seen my result sheet. The printed red bars portray so much... deadliness.

& To end this post, the internet is such a motherfucking son of a bitch. It loads slower than my great-grandmother walking from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Forever & Always.

I can't even-

Dear you, II

Dear you, are you a friend or foe? I've let my walls down; you're free to crawl all over me, but over and over again, you stab your steel knife through my skin. You words- like venom, they burn me. It's either unintentional or you're just that fucking insensitive towards me, and after each occasion, you stretch out a helping hand, offering your company, but here's a warning: Quit acting all cordial; it disgusts me.

Dear you, you're not even dear to me. Irritating is an overstatement for describing you. "Irritating beyond a shadow of a doubt", as quoted from Felicia, is what I'd label you as. Stop initiating a text when you send me such... un-reply-able texts. Seriously, how the fuck do you expect me to answer that? One more time and I'll potassium you. Don't make me, 'cause I'll do it.

Dear you, I'm sorry your heart shattered. I'm sorry I crushed your confidence into powder. He told me so. He called me an asshole, and I suppose I am. I'm even more sorry that you're okay with it. Please hate me, throw darts at my picture, create a voodoo doll of me and stick pins into it, torture me mentally, anything; Just don't forgive me, 'cause I'd never forgive myself. One day, if you ever will, you're free to hide in my arms, or even disturb me like you always do, again.

E for Eight

After months of their absence, their one-night worth of company was the best damn thing that happened to me this holiday. I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you how it feels like. This feels like Home. Three years have faded in a blink of an eye, but look at us now, we still exist.

The afternoon was dreary. We lied on the sofa doing nothing while waiting for full attendance. The girls watched Black Swan in the room while the boys played bball, before we finally left to Downtown East for dinner after much procrastination. We split up in the end; Fel, Yas and I to Burger King and the rest to the foodcourt. The Nacho burger was so nomz and filling that it lasted me for two days. =^^=

HTHT with Harvind and Hongzhou (weird combination ikr) while walking from the chalet to Whitesands and back again just to get a birthday cake for Yuhang. Uncovered a handful of their dirty, little secrets in exchange for baring all I have ever hidden behind my heart to them. I don't know why I did, but I did. Fucking unfair trade. -.- The shops were all closed by then, so no birthday cake, just mini chocolate eclairs. The packet of candles we picked excluded the bottom stand to hold the candles in, so we each held one or two in our hands instead as we lured the birthday boy out and sang the birthday song. Ryan smashed the eclair into his face, but he didn't know what else worse he was in for. Before he could even react, not to mention escape, he was dragged by his limbs to the poolside and thrown in with a thunderous splash.

Spent the rest of the night moving from room to room and in every room, every boy was playing either DotA or Fifa. Annoying nyer (as Jannah would put it hahaha) -.- Upstairs, Harvind, Raynor, Hongzhou and I played taiti with a forfeit of having to reveal an unknown secret. Absolute respect to Raynor for answering the question of which girl in TK he jizzed over. Jinzhuang was watching Ai at 4 fucking a.m. Can't stand his ah soh-ness.

Took a trip back home to shower before I headed outta the house again to meet Brandon, Yanzhou, Keith, Badai, Adam and Humaira to catch Super8 at KLP. The movie isn't as bad as it's rumoured to be, but X-Men or Kungfu Panda II would've been more worth it.

Knocked out for 14h the moment I reached home. No joke man.

I'll never look at you the same way again.

Who is I?

Alita: Who's there already?

Zul: Taiming, Jianhao, Chongwei, Felicia, Stella and I!

Alita: Who is I?

Alita, the Bimbo.

Felicia, the gorgeous girl whether 2kg lighter or heavier.

Stella, The Mary Hairstyle.

Bertrand, the "last warning ah".

Zul the Photog Boy

Taiming, the scandalous with ACDC ;)

Chong, the perv.

Jianhao, the crippled.

A whacky afternoon with Jux Keydings.

Oh, when will I get to see them again?

Egg & Toast

Hi I'm back with a batch of loots to supplement my depleting wardrobe. My most valuable buy was the Union Jack pullover that cost me only SGD4. Can you believe it?! And I bought 2 pairs of matching shirts.

Gonna make Zhuks wear it with me (if he doesn't decline) HAHAHAH.

SIBEI CUTE HOR?!?!?!?

Yeah, that and tons of other stuff. Sungei Wang is my paradise.

Really. Can't. Breathe. Not like I'm asthmatic and that I need to puff Ventolin or anything but, I could really, really, really use some space and time for my own. Hate having so many things happening at one go with so little time :(

Hangover.

So I sneaked into a M18 movie today with my dearest bunch of boy-friends ever; JJ, Josh, Joel, Lum, Jianhao, Chongy and Zhixian. Sha didn't join us 'cause he's down with his puppy commitments. Been eons since I've seen his moley face. We bought tickets for Kung Fu Panda and swaggered into the theatre screening Hangover II #likeaboss. I love Alan and Chow. Fucking hilarious.

Headed back to school after the movie for the diving trip briefing with Darren. It ended before I even reached the venue. Sighhh. Could have had much more fun at dinner with the guys. Can't wait to hang out with them again.

I find myself gasping for air.

Flying over to KL tomorrow over the weekends! Don't miss me when I'm gone x

I said I'd never walk away, but I'm not able to stay.

Been burning the midnight oil these days with Zhuks, Keith and Yanzhou at PP Mac's. Back to those good ol' mugging days.

From the mouth of Yanzhou, "We have 4 papers and she's just gonna fail all lah."

I say, "Watch me pass."

Celebrating the end of CTs at town with TB28 tomorrow! We, we, we so excited.

Dear you,

Dear you, I'm pretty damn sure I detected sorrow in your eyes. It's my forte, don't deny. You needn't say more, 'cause I know best how it feels to be in your shoes. I've survived that phase in life, and so can you. People mature as time ticks by, it's only a matter of when. You'll pull through this thunderstorm and I'll watch you make your dreams come true, 'cause good things happen to good people. For a friend and famous rapper to be, x.

Dear you, of all people, why me? One glance and you'll forget my face the next second. But, why did you keep me etched in your mind? Why did you want to know me more? I'll break you one day; it happens all the time. You should find someone new.

Dear you, I'm afraid of losing you. We barely talk, not to mention meet, and for a period of time, I forgot the sound of your voice. It's heart wrenching to know that we're only connected by a computer/phone screen. Each time I come across a photo of you and your friends, this tinge of jealousy comes creeping into my heart, 'cause I could've been the one in that photo, right beside you, if it weren't for the fact that we're miles apart. One thing I regret in life is to take that separate path from you, in hope we'd eventually meet at the exit, even though we swore to go the same direction from the start. This journey without you seems almost pointless. You're (still) the angel of my nightmare. There's just too many memories we've shared that I refuse to let go of. I miss you dearly.

Dear you, please don't call me cute. That's an understatement HAHAHAHAWAHAHSKHDAKJSD ok I was just kidding. But really, don't. My cheeks will burn.

Dear you, thank you for leaving the door on the latch even after I pushed you away. Thank you for still having your arms wide open. Thank you for offering me a ray of light when I'm left in the cold and dark. Maturing wasn't as worthwhile as I thought it'd be.

Dear you, you got me walkin' on air last Thurs by being in the classroom opposite, seated right in front of my eyes, for the entire two-hours long lesson. I'm sorry you caught me staring at you a few days back. It was the most awkward yet most enchanting five seconds of my life. It's like I visualised butterflies fluttering in mid-air and glitter falling from the sky and I heard a choir of angels caroling. Aloysius said something, but I didn't catch it, 'cause you KS-ed him and took my attention away. You are one charming man.

A Night To Remember.

"Staying up the entire night with the people I love most; power-packed mugging, the impulsive purchase of the biggest kite available, flying it with child-like blissfulness at 4.30Am, failing multiple times but thoroughly enjoying our rare successes, and finally, reminiscing the most wonderful memories we've shared, laughing non-stop about inside-jokes and comedic moments. & deep down inside, I secret look forward, coveting and praying hard that we'd share more beautiful memories, growing old and laughing while we're at it. I love you both so much."

And the random chains of acronyms: PP & BBC --> PP in BBC --> PPC --> PCC.

They call us insane. I call this bliss in simplicity.

A Psychological Test.

Write down the first answer that comes to your mind.

No second thoughts or changing of answers!

A forest awaits your entrance in front of you.

1) What's the first animal you see?

2) And what's the second?

As you venture further in, you spot a house from afar.

3) What is the house made of?

4) Are there any windows? If yes, how many? Are they opened or closed?

5) How many locks are there on the door?

Beside the house is a fountain.

6) Would you walk past the fountain to check it out first before heading to the house of head to the hut ?

You've entered the house. You see a coffee table.

7) What shape is it?

There's a cup on the table.

8) What is it made of?

9) How much liquid is there in it?

You walk out by the back door of the house, where there's three horses. One's black, one's white and one's brown.

10) Which horse do you choose to ride on?

As you get on the horse, you ride towards the fountain previously mentioned. On a scale of 1 -10, with 10 being the hardest,

11) How hard is the waterfall flowing?

Leave your answers in my Formspring and I'd tell you the results! Tis' some dope shizz :D

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.

Checkered planking. #TB28epicmoments

I'm so full of shit, like literally. I don't know if it's what I eat or if it's my stomach that's weak. Been having the runs since I've reached home and this simply spoils my (non-existent) mood to study. Speak about good timing.

Time to g-o, go.

Amongst the sea of people at Munch, I spotted Yanzhou at the dim sum stall from afar and instinctively meandered through the crowd to give him a big, tight hug. That was the uh-oh moment when realisation hit me like a stone that I shouldn't have done what I did. Before I could wallow in regret, my left arm had been bruised. Owww :( but I really missed him so. Felt like a piece of me was missing without his presence throughout E-learning week, but smarter as well 'cause nobody was there to call me a dumb fuck.

Bumped into Jiunhon and Jiamin at Ourspace today where I first learnt that they were classmates. She asked how I knew him and as though rehearsed, Jiunhon and I faced each other with a smile and simultaneously said, "AIYA, LONG STORY!" Hahaha, I have no idea why that felt heartwarming, but it did. I'd like to see how our friendship would turn out to be :)

Dinner with The Family at ban mian. Feels Home to be in the east.

Thank you, Chern. No 'why's, just, thank you.

Remember all the sadness and frustration, and let it go.

'Cause you said so, H. Please be fine.