Falderal

Update:
In the past two weeks of absence I have been out till midnight every. single. day. Before school forbids me to have a life when the workload comes streaming in, at least I can say I've caught up with everyone.

It's the second week of the new semester of school. Things have been routine; usual habits of lateness, manually printing double-sided lecture notes, daily dilemma of what to have for lunch, listening to tutors ask questions and then self-answering them, paying unnecessary attention to all the redundant details of lecture and daydreaming at the most important parts, etc.

If you do the math, we're a quarter-year away from graduation (and temporary freedom). I need a new organiser for the upcoming year, but I can't find the exact design that I've been using for this year. I have brand loyalty issues. Also it's about time to think about my after-diploma plans, which I'm extremely indecisive about.

Thoughts:
i) Being part of an all-boy gang doesn't make feel like a rose among the thorns (yes you boys are thorns hurhur). It may seem as though I should feel left out, but no, they make me feel like we all belong to the same rose field anyway. This is why males are so comfortable to hang out with. Girls are different; they are mostly whiny and bitchy pains-in-the-ass when it comes to fostering relationships with people or basically just being human. I've never enjoyed girl company as much. But this year, I've met a handful of girlfriends who have taught me that girl company can be precious as well. So thank you for opening my mind and making me feel comfortable to let you in. You know who you are. :*

ii) I'm so mean inside my head that I'm ashamed of my own thoughts. But then again, I don't get how one can overlook someone's flaws when she's so oblivious about them. I would tell her where she went wrong because I care, but she wouldn't necessarily listen. Aren't friends supposed to rub off each other's virtues and become better people as a whole? Why isn't this working out then? It's so strenuous to be irritated over every little thing, even the most trivial matter. I used to have a phlegmatic temperament but all this frustration is turning me into a melancholic beast. I'm filled to the brim with anger, almost all the time. I can't put things down as easily as I used to be able to anymore, like there's superglue smudged all over my hands and in between my fingers or something. Do you get what I mean in point i) now?

iii) Here's my sincerest apologies if I've blown my top at you in the past few months. I'm completely aware of my deteriorating patience and tolerance, I just haven't found a solution for it yet. But give me time and I promise I'll be back to the nice ol' Sarah you used to know.