Stop stopping

"You can't expect them to grow up with you."

Yea I probably shouldn't keep my hopes up above the clouds all the time. I cannot expect people to think of me when I'm absent, much less remember trivial facts about me like my favourite colour or drink. I cannot expect people to give me a fraction of their time in exchange for mine. I cannot expect people to walk down the same path as me nor can I expect them to wait for me at the end of it. I cannot expect it all to be a given. But one thing I think I can do is to start learning that life goes on.

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Today's concoction of emotions included 5% petty rage, 10% envy, 25% pride for yet another friend who has found love, and 60% dread of loneliness. I warmed the benches for close to an hour waiting for my friends before dinner but I might have went slightly overboard with the hostility. (It was their last day of work, I should have understood better. Must be the recent post-graduation disorientation. I'm sorry.) At midnight, a piece of amazing news arrived in the form of a text and drove me berserk. I am always happy for new found love! But that also means the #foreveralone club just lost two members and hell, it's diminishing in size faster than I thought. It wouldn't really bother me if I wasn't in it anymore either but... I am...

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If we're close enough, you are privileged to know everything I have hidden well at the back of my head. That can come as good news, or otherwise. Because these days I never really got to stringing my thoughts into comprehensible sentences, so all you get is my gibberish and conclusionless stories. But know that, that is my my language of saying, "I trust you wholeheartedly, even if you don't understand a shit I'm telling you."

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I am back to my old habit of paraphrasing multiple irrelevant thoughts in a single post again.
Happy 1st march, xx