Why do you do this to me?

Feeding on distractions around me to survive every moment while these conjured thoughts devour me up alive inside. It's mental self-suicide on a nightly basis. Dying bit by bit but it's ok because that's what life's all about right? =^^=

It's almost as though I turned seventy years older within a week. I get tired so easily, irregardless of what I do, even if it's sleeping through lessons. The amount of slumber I fall into (both at home and in school) is... ridiculous, and I still get tired. Haven't been in the clearest of my mind lately 'cause this epitome of fatigue's been taking its toll on me.

At times, I'm envious of Gerald. His capability to just light up a fag and not give a fuck about anything tempts me to follow suit. I'd never light up a fag, but all I ask for is to be able to not give a fuck about anything as well.

"And you know why he's going back right?"

I really respect my ears. They always tank the awfullest things I don't wanna hear. And it seems almost impossible for Yanzhou to not rub salt into my wound at every instant. But, I'll smile it off anyway.